When we come into this world our conscious minds are a blank slate. We don’t know if we’re important or not important, successful or unsuccessful. We show up and we’re looking at these two grown-ups who seem to know everything: our parents. And, what happens when we get here is that they say things like, “No, you shouldn’t do that”, “You did what?!”, “How many times do I have to tell you?”, “No, that’s not how you do it” and, “What will the neighbours/Joe Blogs/Auntie Flo think?”
Loving parents? Most of the time they do their best. They just don’t know any better.
But what is the one-word question almost every child asks all day long?
“Why can’t I live up to my parent’s expectations?” “Why can’t I get anything right?”
They start to think, “I’m not good enough.”
They start to think, “Why don’t I just give up?”
They also ask “Why is my mum always looking at her phone when I talk to her?” “Why am I always being told to be quiet?”
“Oh, I see. I’m not important.”
“Why, every time I make a mistake does my dad scream and shout and punish me?”
“Oh, I see. Mistakes and failures are bad. I must avoid making them”.
How different it would be for the child, if every time something went wrong, or they made a mistake, they were told “That’s a really good learning opportunity. If you remember and learn from it eventually you’ll get it right”.
The most common belief that people have is “I’m not good enough”.
If you don’t think you have what it takes, ask yourself the question, “What would make me good enough?”
Write down your answer.
If you write anything other than, “Nothing, I just am”, you have self-belief.
If you have the belief that you have to be something, do something, or have something in order to be good enough, then you don't have self-belief.
Yes, success takes hard work. But if you believe you can do it you can achieve anything. If you don’t, you won’t. The former sees mistakes as learning opportunities and stepping stones to greater things. The latter gives up.
That’s an important message for people to have. Mistakes and failures are opportunities for people to learn and grow. We are not our mistakes.
We form our beliefs.
It doesn’t mean our parents are bad. They didn’t do anything malicious. They just didn’t know any better. They meant well. It’s just that nobody gave them a manual when we were born.
So, if you decide you want to change the world, or at least your own little world, you need to be willing to change yourself first.
Remember that the conscious mind determines the actions, the unconscious mind determines the reactions, and the reactions are just as important as the actions. Those negative thoughts implanted by our parents in our unconscious mind are the ones that determine what determine how we react. We need to realise that things don’t always have the meaning we assign to them. Make yourself aware of what you are thinking and why and what effect it is having on your actions.
So, next time you think “I can’t do that!” or “I’m not good enough” ask yourself “Why not?” “Why can’t I do that?” “What makes me think that?” Write down your answers. Then write down why you CAN do it. Write down what you need to do, write down what steps you need to take. Remind yourself that your comfort zone is something your parents put in place to protect you, and you need to step out of it sometimes. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.
When the conscious mind expands to embrace deeper levels of thinking, the thought wave becomes more powerful and results in added energy and intelligence. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.